How to Keep the Zucchini at Bay
Recipes/Essay, September, 1994
You're acquainted with the four basic food groups: meat and meat substitutes, dairy products, bread and cereals, and zucchini.
That’s the way it seems, anyway, this time of year. I know it's the way my neighbor just down the road must feel. This spring she got the flats of seedlings she bought at the nursery confused, and planted zucchini in the black-plastic-covered bed she’d carefully prepared for watermelon. Enthusiastic growers under any conditions, the zucchini took advantage of the luxurious accommodations and the rainy summer (the black plastic helped, not to conserve water, but to warm things up when the sun shone) to produce a better-than-bumper crop.
When my neighbors left home for a week's vacation, they invited me to keep the squash in check for them. A few days after their departure I walked down the road with my half-bushel basket and picked it full of zucchini varying in length from 8-16 inches. The 16-inchers were headed for Louisville Sluggerdom, but I caught them in time.
Though many people would have been appalled, I was happy to have them. My own plants hadn't begun producing, and I had actually been buying zucchini at the produce stand. I washed each of the perfect shiny green-black squash, put the smaller ones in a refrigerator drawer, and stacked the large ones on my kitchen counter. They comforted me the way a big woodpile does at the beginning of winter. By the time I was done with them, I knew my own plants would have begun to produce.
So what do you do with a half-bushel of zucchini? Eat them at every meal: in fritters for breakfast, stir-fried with garlic and onions as a side dish, diced in a casserole, stuffed, and in a perfectly delicious chocolate cake. Of the five recipes below, the zucchini is all but undetectable in two (Dinner in a Skillet, Zucchini Cake) for recalcitrant family members who think you are serving too much of it. I've omitted a recipe for zucchini bread because of their ubiquitousness.
Zucchini Fritters
1 small or medium onion, grated or diced
1 small or medium zucchini, grated
1 egg (2 if the zucchini is large)
Flour, wheat germ and/or bran to bind
Salt and pepper to taste
Oregano and/or basil to taste
Parmesan or feta cheese
Garlic (optional)
Mix all of this together, using enough of the dry ingredients to keep the mixture from being runny. The longer it sits, the runnier it gets, so I try to get the fritters into the frying pan as quickly as possible after mixing. Use only enough oil to keep them from sticking. They take longer than you would think to cook–about 15-20 minutes. Cook the whole batch and put the leftover fritters in the refrigerator. They're good for lunch, supper or snacks after a brief trip to the microwave. (Try them with a plate of sliced tomatoes and cucumbers.) I serve them with a dollop of sour cream and a spoonful of salsa. You can experiment with other herbs (thyme would be good, and perhaps dill). I like to switch the cheeses and herbs from day to day, to give the fritters a variety of tastes. You can also omit cheese altogether and serve with butter and maple syrup.
Sauteed Zucchini, Onions and Garlic
Slice a zucchini thinly crosswise, do likewise for several garlic cloves. Slice a big onion thinly end to end. Heat a couple of tablespoons of oil in a frying pan, saute the garlic and onion for a couple of minutes, add the zucchini. Heat should be medium to medium-high so the zucchini browns a bit. Just before serving, sprinkle with soy or tamari sauce to taste. This is an excellent side dish for something bland like chicken. If you have a lot of green peppers coming out of your garden, you can throw one of them in too, diced. If you want to go in another direction (to serve with spaghetti or another Italian main dish), omit the soy sauce, add oregano and/or basil to the stir fry, and sprinkle with Parmesan.
Dinner in a Skillet
1 kielbasa (I prefer the “light” variety)
1 large onion
1 medium zucchini, diced
1 green pepper, diced
1-3 potatoes, diced
Garlic
Other vegetables of your choice (tomatoes, eggplant, peas are all fine)
Oregano and basil
Jalapeno peppers (optional)
Put a little oil in your skillet, add onion and garlic first, then potatoes, then the meat (you can substitute diced chicken breast, ham, bratwurst, etc. for the kielbasa), then your vegetables — beginning with eggplant (which will need longer to cook), green pepper, zucchini, ending with quick-cooking vegetables like tomatoes and peas. Add the spices about the time you begin adding the vegetables. The kielbasa flavor pervades everything, so if you use a bland meat like chicken, you’ll have to apply the garlic and herbs with a heavier hand. Fresh basil would be a good choice if you have it, and you might use a little Parmesan cheese with a chicken-based dish. The jalapenos (quarter them lengthwise–remove seeds and membrane if you want to cool them down–then cut crosswise or otherwise mince them) will add heat. If your family likes hot food, by all means toss them in about the time you add the green pepper.
Chocolate Zucchini Cake
2 eggs
1/2 c. margarine
1-3/4 c. sugar
1/2 c. cooking oil
1 teaspoon vanilla
2-1/2 c. flour
1 teaspoon salt
4 tablespoons cocoa
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 c. milk
2 c. grated zucchini
1/2 c. chopped walnuts
Cream margarine, sugar, oil, eggs and vanilla. Sift flour, salt, cocoa and baking soda. Add dry ingredients to the creamed mixture alternating with milk. Stir in zucchini. Add nuts. Bake in a 9x13 inch pan for 35 minutes at 325 degrees.This cake can be frosted, but is just fine without it. You can exceed the amount of zucchini called for–I usually grate a medium zucchini and dump the whole thing in without measuring, but if you feel you are exceeding the called-for amount substantially, be a little generous with the flour as well. The zucchini is nearly invisible in the finished product. You don't taste it either–you taste the chocolate. What the zucchini does is make the cake moist. My mother has found this to be a hit at covered dish dinners, and usually brings the recipe along to share with zucchini-besieged friends.
Stuffed Zucchini
Slice your zucchini lengthwise (1-2 halves per person, depending on size of zucchini and size of appetites) and scrape out the innards, leaving a shell 1/4 to 1/2-inch thick, depending on zucchini size (thinner for smaller zucchini). That's the first step; from this point you can go in several directions.
For 4 medium zucchini
3/4 c. minced onion
3 tablespoons butter
3 cloves crushed garlic
3 eggs, beaten
2 tablespoons fresh parsley
1 tablespoon fresh dill (3/4 t. dried dill) 2 T. flour
Salt and pepper to taste
1/2 c. feta cheese. crumbled 3/4 c, Swiss cheese, grated Paprika
Variation #1
Chop the zucchini innards, and saute them in the butter with the onion and garlic until onions are soft. Mix cheeses, flour, beaten eggs, herbs and salt and pepper, combine with sauteed ingredients. Put the zucchini in a lightly oiled baking dish, skin side down, and fill them with the stuffing mixture, Dust with paprika. Bake 30 minutes or until the stuffing solidifies, at 375 degrees.
Variation #2
3 medium zucchini
1 c. cooked rice (brown or white)
1/2 lb. ground beef
1 chopped tomato
1 clove garlic, crushed
1 green pepper, diced
1 medium onion, diced
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon basil
1 jalapeno, chopped
1 c. grated cheese (cheddar or hot pepper, or a mixture of the two)
Salt and pepper to taste
Brown the ground beef, drain off fat, set aside on a paper towel to get rid of more fat. In a frying pan saute onion, garlic, chopped zucchini innards, green pepper, jalapeno in just enough oil to keep from sticking. Add chopped tomato and cook a few minutes more. Combine sauteed mixture with ground beef, rice, 1/2 the cheese, spices, salt and pepper. Place zucchini in a lightly oiled pan, skin side down, and stuff. Sprinkle with remaining cheese. Bake at 350 for 40 minutes.
Variation #3
3 medium zucchini
1 c. cooked brown rice
1 c. grated cheddar cheese
1 large onion, chopped
1 clove garlic
1 c. chopped mushrooms
2 tablespoon sunflower seeds
3 eggs, beaten
1/4 c. wheat germ
1-1/2 c. cottage cheese
3 tablespoon tamari sauce
Dash of Worcestershire
1 jalapeno, chopped (or a couple of dashes of hot sauce)
Salt and pepper to taste
Saute mushrooms, onion, garlic, sunflower seeds, jalapeno (if you're using one), and spices with chopped zucchini innards in a little butter or oil. Mix beaten eggs with cottage cheese, cheddar, rice, wheat germ, tamari, Worcestershire, hot sauce (if using), salt and pepper. Add the sauteed mixture. Place zucchini in a lightly oiled baking dish, skin side down, stuff with the mixture. Bake at 350 for 40 minutes.
If you have extra stuffing after you've filled the zucchini shells, you have two choices that are better than trying to pile more filling into the shells than they will hold: 1) slice another zucchini, scrape out its innards and throw them away, stuff and bake along with the others; or 2) put the extra stuffing into a baking dish and cook it in the same oven. You can serve it to a family member who is less than enthusiastic about the zucchini itself.
Of course, you can substitute a large zucchini for the medium zucchini called for in these variations. Stuffing is a good way to use larger zucchini, in fact. You can just cut the stuffed zucchini in sections to serve. For those who want to add a topping, try sour cream with any of the variations, or salsa with variations 2 and 3.
And remember, if you find a Louisville Slugger in your patch, your chickens will love you if you slice it lengthwise and set it in their pen skin-side down, so they can get at the seeds!